music

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

♥ ぃ街角ジ悲傷 | ぃ街角ジ哭泣 ♥


我哒心
碎了

就像我显示哒图片一样
已被切割了一个大洞
而这一个洞是再也无法填补
一次又一次哒伤痛
我再也承受不了


搁浅在生命里还剩下什么??
是不是只有无尽哒忧伤??
是不是只有孤独地躲在角落哭泣??


最近哒心情真的糟透了
低至于零哒阶段
我到底怎么了
心里莫名其妙就会涌起那么一种忧伤
不想提
但又不想沉默
也只好透过手中的键盘把它都敲打出来

怀着那么一种忧伤
我淡淡哒叹息
淡淡哒微笑
淡淡哒生活
一个人始终还是一个人
总以为平淡地度过就好
喜可以放下
当然忧伤也能放下
但人的心是一处复杂情绪哒混合体
尽管我想尽力地控制它
放下一切不开心哒
也是有失控哒时候
俗语说:
''
挥一挥衣袖,不带走一片云彩 ''
我在想如果人内心哒忧伤也只需要挥一挥衣袖就抖落哒话
那该有多好
但这些忧伤
不管我们怎样挥手也是挥之不去

生活中
就是因为这些莫名其妙哒忧伤
静静地沉睡在记忆深处
冷不丁就会哪天苏醒过来
让人激动一场
伤心一场
感动一场然后又沉沉睡去
......



心情时低时高
起浮不定
我真的很想忘记一切哒忧伤
却在我拼命哒想要忘记是画面清晰透明
一点一点吞噬了我哒理智
其实梦就像麻醉剂一样
让不知所措哒心得到暂时哒平静
而让冷漠包围了我
之前所发生过哒事情都不能再追究
越想只会越让人难以忍受
也只好把我哒忧伤放在最深处
让难过安抚让人无法忍受哒过去
就是痛
我不想一直这样寂寞着
又有谁能明白我此刻哒心情呢??
伤和痛都处留在心灵深处

心好烦好烦
心好痛好痛
天涯何处是归鸿
泪在眼里流
捏一把涕
凉意袭上了心头
是心酸
我痛恨哒人总是在我伤口洒盐


一切都已成为过去
我有我哒生活
你不犯我
我不犯你
各自都有各自哒生活
............
为什么你们直到现在还是非得把我的伤口加到最深处呢??
你们所带给我的伤害难道还不够吗??
被伤害的人是我
不认真看待感情哒人是你们
欺骗我的也是你们
可是到头来却是我哒错
我做错了些什么吗??





给某个人

虽然我们分开了一年多

但依然保持朋友的关系

不过也很少联络了

直到最近你再次地找回我

即使是这样我依然没给你机会

一直以来我都选择继续相信你

相信你是因为那某种原因所以我们才分开

但我发现我错了

你始终没改变过

不是说我们不会再回到从前吗??

不是说你会更疼爱我吗??

不是说会好好保护我吗??

不是说你不会再犯错了吗??

这些都是废话

我就知道会这样

所以才没给你第二次哒机会

就在昨晚我知道了一切哒真相

心真的优如再次地被刀割了下去




再来就是

事情发生了之后

我们就再也不曾联络过

而你也不曾再找上我

从头到尾都是她在从中搞破坏

你宁可相信她所说哒话

都不把一点哒信任放在我身上

她如果真的那么完美哒话

那么当初为什么还要开始这段感情呢??

玩弄别人哒感情很刺激吗??

她一次又一次地来烦我打扰我甚至是责骂我

我都没出声

因为我不想把事情闹大

她却得寸进尺

一而再再而三地侮辱我

我得罪了她吗??

错哒人是她

犯下最大错误哒人是你

但你们这却把所有的错都怪到我头上来

这对我公平吗??

够了

我不想知道你们任何一件事情

更不想知道你们过得如何

我只知道我会当不曾认识你这个人

更不曾存在过我哒世界

一次哒伤害是因为太爱你
两次哒伤害是因为我依然选择相信你
三次哒伤害又算是什么呢??

很好玩吗??

如果说错误从我们最初的相识就埋伏在了彼此的心里

为什么你还是要我去深深的划伤自己??

你们到底把我当什么呢??


最近哒我到了夜深都总会独自痛哭

爱久了,成了一种习惯

痛久了,成了一道刻痕

恨久了,成了一种负担

~心痛丶 | ~痛心

寂寞好了_ | 心放空了_



__babyumiko__





Sunday, October 24, 2010

♥ 24102010 ♥


blogging time again
actually im quite tired
but let me updated my blog here 1st

im mar need to ask myself
how many times i gonna use this picture??
how long i still need to cry??
why im always in moody state??
what happened on me actually??
............
im even dont knw how to answer these all myself too




actually im not so like back to kl
can say totally hate it at all
WHY??
i mar need to face the wall only at here
im alone at here
as u guys know it
i hate lonely life totally
but no idea for it
i need to face the real
bcoz of study
bcoz of my foture
i need to keep persist on it
WHY again??
bcoz
no ppl will accompany me when im in sad
no ppl can share with me too when im in happy
but happy not always come towards me
can said not belong to me at all




continue it
......
another reason why i not like stay at kl
coz of something happened
but it was pass
i cant do it anything again
it really make me sad at all
quite many time it bring back me to the sad condition
keep remind me im choose the wrong choice
keep remind me im too believe someone
keep make me to recall back totally
again & again
im crying bcoz of that matter
again & again
im getting hurt by someone
again
again
again
......
im hate myself why im back to such way
>,<


again im going to someone FB
but i saw something that im not wish to
im stare on it at that moment
i dunno i need to gv out what response for it
just look on it for a few minute
saw it & saw it
my tears flow out
i try to force myself cant cry out bcoz of that matter again
but i cant bear for it
crying T-T
i keep remind myself must forget all the things
cant even think it at all
but i failed to do it to




next
i dunno what happen on u all
why must vent out on me??
not happy den find me
moody den find me too
such a bad attitude on me
talk with me in a bad way too
am i offend u guys??
NOT
i knw u all in a moody state
but den hv u all think about it???
im not in a bad condition too
im not happy too
im in moody too
simply just push all the things towards me
im who???
i really dunno





besides that
im hope can move out from here as soon as possible
i dun wan to face the wall here everyday alone
i dun wan to pass a lonely life again
i dun wan
i dun wan
i dun wan
......
finally we get find our friends to share the rental house
near college too
easy for us go and back from college
i hope the owner can let us move in quickly too
wish it ^^





im need someone accompany me right now
i need it
someone who can bside with me always
someone who can accompany me always
someone who can lend me his shoulder when im crying
someone who can share with me whenever im happy or sad
someone who can be my best audience
someone & someone
the answer is NOBODY



okay
im gonna to stop here
tired
going to bed soon
good nitezz all my babe friends







__babyumiko__






Friday, October 15, 2010

♥ unhappy day ♥


my new picca here

again im come blogging now
no always updated my blog already
why??
bcoz i dunno what i suppose to post here
abit lazy too
^^


now
my life is full of homework
tutorial
doing note ourself for clinical immunology
search all the info ourself
assignment
class
......
etc.
wowww
a busy study life getting right now
anywhere i will try my best to done it well
my target
i want to get a good result for my studies
even better than this
is excellent
get a better result for now
and go on for my further studies
YES
i will




next
im getting more and more unhappy for this few day
as my picca showed above
no more smile appear on my face
i dunno what i need
i dunno what happened on me too
just like ytrd
when im think back something
my tears will suddenly flow out
but no one will understand my feeling at that moment
nobody will know me at that time
sometime i will find out that im just alone all the time only
nobody care me
nobody sek me
even no anything can make me smile
yaA
it was right
is NO ONE



for today
such a sad day for me
im get wronged by lecturer
early in the morning she treat me like that way
'' 3 weeks for the continuously pass i no attended her class ''
shittt
what is she mean??
are u crazy madam
when u see me i no attend ur class??
any proof which prove me no attend ur class at all??
i can SWEAR that im ATTEND class for everyime
if din have any important matter
i sure wont miss my class
'' 3 weeks continuously ''
are u know this is too serious madam??
din check before and simply said me
din check before and simply mark my attendance as ZERO
i can remember that i just absent my class for one day
coz we need to pass up the ptptn document at that time
why mark my attendance zero for so many times??
tell me why??

then
whats mean by '' im not want to angry,scold or said that u are cheating ''
plsss madam
izzit i need to do such thing???
izzit i need to cheating u on this kind of matter
i try my best for my study all the time
along the study life i pass through until now
i never meet this problem
today was the 1st day
and u act like not believe me at all
u din bring ur name list to us for few week
and we just record down our attendance in a piece of paper
u din mark it back in ur name list
that is ur fault
that is ur problem
why just simply blame towards me
CRAZY
STUPID
NONSENSE
BRAINLESS

dont though that u are lecturer
then u can do anything as u want

dont though that u are lecturer
then u are right in everything

dont though that u are lecturer
then u can not need respect our student

dont even though that u are just the only one good lecturer
shitt at all
i can tell u here
u are NOT for me
u din have that qualification

u are the only one lecturer do the wrong thing
and push the fault towards student
izzit this is the right behaviour & attitude as a lecturer??
such a stupid lecturer
hate from now on
im feel want to cry out at that moment
but i bear for it
coz i really not done wrong at all
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
......
moody right now


who can accompany me right now?
who can chat with me at this moment?
the answes is NOBODY

when i need someone
there was nobody here with me at all

when i need a shoulder
there was nobody here with me again

yaa
im mar alone again here




thats all for my updated today
i will updated again







__babyumiko__




Monday, October 11, 2010

♥ 别在寂寞时说爱我 ♥



别在这时候说爱我
不要在寂寞的时候说爱我

你也只不过是不愿让自己溺毙在空虚深渊
只因为你的寂寞就用一句我爱你把我俘虏
哄我陪你度过漫漫长夜
可你知不知道这样对我来说是一种侮辱和伤害

在我寂寞的时候
也许会因为你一句无心的话语
微小的关怀
而让我感动莫名
你的痴情热恋会瞬间把我的心魂倶收
我会恋上你的甜言蜜语
我会恋上你的一切
但是这些都是虚幻的
只是因为寂寞因子在作祟
当我的寂寞心跨国空灵
这段爱情就如南柯一
梦般醒来不余一丝留影
所以别在这时候说爱我
我害怕带给你无尽的悔恨

但是我想说
我很认真地面对我每一段感情
不曾伤害过爱我的人
只是你们都选择来伤害我
欺骗我

我真的很不明白
如果你们都不想在这段感情放下心思
如果你们都不是认真的
那当初就不要和我开始这段感情
你们是不都认为所有的人都不认真看待感情事
所以你们纯粹只是想玩玩罢了
如果真的是这样
那请你们离开我的世界
不要在我的世界里出现
这种伤害
我承受不起
再来更因为第三者的出现而放弃
用长时间经营的一段感情
一起走过的回忆
难道就那么容易被遗忘吗




别伤害了我才说爱我
不是一句 '' 对不起 ''
不是一句 '' 让我们忘记从前 ''
更不是一句 '' 让我们重新开始 ''
这样就能弥补你的过错
一切就能回到原点
而我就得因此而原谅你
我想说
不可能
当我的完美变成了欠缺
请你别在说爱我


别在伤透了我的心才说爱我
曾经的情缘是你没有好好地把握
这怪不了别人
要知道受伤的心很难愈合
需要时间去忘记一切



别在我离开时才说爱我
你一次次的承诺
你一次次的欺骗
一次又一次
我真的听得厌烦和困惑了
除非你真正给予我快乐
否则不如放我去飞翔
给我自由和宽阔


分开了那么久
你突然找上我来
我真的有点惊讶
虽然我们分开以后
你依然没去寻找你的另一半
只忙于工作
但这并不代表我就得因此而再次给你机会
是给你机会再次伤害我吗???
机会我在当初已经给了
是你没珍惜过
是你选择放弃
是你亲手毁了这段感情
怨不了别人
那时候我是怎么挽回我们的感情
你应该最清楚
不管我说什么
不管我怎么挽回
你依然坚持你的决定
'' 分手 ''
我哭了很久
更伤透了心
现在一句对不起你就想重新我们的感情
你有想过我的感受吗??
被你伤得还不够深吗??
一段破裂了的感情就能那么轻易地愈合吗??
伤痕始终看得到
伤痕始终还保留在原位
无法消失
不是你说放就放
更不是你说复合就复合
你没有这个资格





空虚的心灵真的很难熬过
我需要的是一个真正爱我的人
而不是伤害我一次又一次的
欺骗我一次又一次的
我真的伤透了
我不想这样了
只是需要一个真正爱我疼我的那一个
真的有那么难吗??
说实话
真的很难遇上
你真正的那一位
或许时机未到
或许你还没遇上罢了

如果你真的爱我
请你别在伤害我
我很累了
很累
很累
很累
.
.
.
.
.
.












__babyumiko__